Good Lcuk

January 17, 2016


February 14th this year will mark my dad's 3 years of passing away. It's 'sort of' better each year... I still miss him a lot and very much, but over the years I just get better at getting out of the mourning hole. His passing is like this one folder of gloom and mourning, and I have learned to keep the folder inside a drawer all the way on the back in my heart and I have learned not to visit the drawer often. But just recently, I realized I have never got the time to let my dad's passing to sink in and I never paid tribute to him properly. So I decided to pay a visit to the back and opened the drawer and pulled out few memories of my dad.

My dad visited Melbourne on 2011 with my mother. When he came back from the trip he showed me lots of photos he took on many tourist landmarks in Melbourne and he told me many stories about it also... including information about RMIT University. I never get to visit Melbourne with him, but I did decided to continue my postgraduate study in RMIT. I studied in Melbourne for 1,5 years and I finally finished my postgraduate study and recently graduated with master's degree last year on mid December. I spent an extra month to travel, pack and just rest before I have to go back to home country for good. Before I flew back home, I decided to reminisce my dad in a way that I could enjoy.

I looked up some photos of my parents' trip to Melbourne and chose several photos of my dad. I decided to go around few places in Melbourne and replicate his photos. I asked good friends of mine to help me take photos and travel with me. Here are few shots that we replicated:


University of Melbourne/Swanston st

University of Melbourne

Carlton Gardens
Albert st/Nicholson St
Parliament Garden
Parliament Garden

Hotel Windsor
Old Treasury Building
Treasury Place


Treasury Place

Treasury Place
Old Treasury Place

Old Treasury Place

Old Treasury Place

Old Treasury Place
Federation Square (St. Paul's Cathedral in the back)

Federation Square (Flinders Street Station in the back)

Federation Square

Federation Square
Bourke St


It was honestly very emotional for me to do this project. To see his photos again... Remembering his face and his awkward poses... reminded me of when he was still around. I managed not to cry though, which is something that don't really happen. Because even though I could be the strongest person, but I'm originally such a cry baby when it comes to my dad. I've been dealing with this matter and I learned that the reason that I always cry when it comes to my dad's passing was because I never let things sink in. I just let it pass and hope it'll go by. I'm probably 3 years late but I want to let his passing sink in within me and just let it be. To truly understand that it is okay for him to go.

I do various things to help me deal with this matter and one of them is learning to talk about it openly with people that are close to me. Talking out loud about it makes me feel better. I cry a lot the first time I read letter to my dad. Second time I talked about it with another person, I only had few drops of tears. It gets less and less burdening every time I share or talk about it. Sharing this in my blog is also one way to heal for me. It is a unique way to remember him, just as unique as his personality.

I'm thankful I have been given the chance to study abroad, and also thankful that it was in the last country/city my dad visited before he passed away. By doing this, I was able to experience what he had experienced... Traveled the places he went, walked the roads he walked, see the things he saw, and so on... Even though we both visited Melbourne in different times, I felt as if I was together with him at that particular moment and place through this project.

* * *

If you're going to take anything from this story of mine is that, do not wait until it's too late. I never knew I would lost my father that  soon. I never really appreciate the times I traveled with him previously and I regret it. Go to places with your loved ones and live adventurous life together with them... Go to new places, try new activities, new foods, take photos, write them in journals... I kept thinking how wonderful it would have been, if my dad and I were on the same frame instead of separated...

Another lesson would be... you need to let things sink in. Be it grieving, achievements, breakups, etc... Let things sink in. And find ways that can help you process it. If you need to talk about, then find trusted person and talk about it. If you need to travel, then go! Travel and take time to ponder about things. Let the places you wander to change you and come back changed, renewed and stronger. Don't run from it or hide it. Because by doing that you're letting it imprisoned you.

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."
-S. Kierkegaard

And  talking about it and letting it go, doesn't equal to forgetting about it. I'm trying to let go of my dad's passing, but I will forever remember him. He will always be a HUGE part of me, I am who I am because of him also. So to all of you... go on your pace, let things sink in, let go and hopefully you'll be able to smile as you reminisce.

Read more regarding my father's passing: On death // On mourning


This post is dedicated to my dad's lover: my mom.


P.S: Kudos to Bayun & Mba Riri for helping me with the project.
 

49 comments

  1. so beautiful and heart touching <3 good lcuk, sis

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  2. This is so fabulous I am sure your Mom was so overwhelmed to see these pictures. Makes me miss my Daddy, too...

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    1. She was a little bit TOO happy about these photos :D
      Thank you for reading Kristin!

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  3. Chrisyaaa... Can't say anything but giving you huggggg.... :')

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    1. Thea :D hahaha thank you! Sending you virtual hug also!

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    1. antara kissu, heart atau poop ini. sayangnya di komputer tidak terbaca.

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  5. This is wonderful. Your Dad would be so proud of you. I can image that your Mum would have loved to see them

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    1. Thank you for the compliment Laura :)
      I sure hope he is~

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  6. DI SHIZZ IS VERY CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
    Congratz ka Chrisya!!
    keren banget!!!

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    1. Hahahaha thank you Ayaaaa!
      Thank you for visiting my blog & reading :)

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  7. Good PR of Australia and universities of Melbourne.

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    1. Hi there. First of all, thank you for visiting my blog and reading my post :) I really appreciate it. But I'd like to take time to reply your comment and clarify that this is in no way PR for Australia and any university of Melbourne. I am sharing my personal experiences and it just happens that I was put in Melbourne and studied in RMIT at one point of my life.

      I just don't want anyone reading my post and your comment to get the wrong understanding :) Thank you!

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  8. Hi sarah!, baru saja saya membuka kaskus dan menemukan hot thread tentang project mu, sungguh luar biasa.... !!! tetap semangat ya sarah!!

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    1. Halo Lukman! Terima kasih sudah baca cerita saya ya dan berkunjung ke blog ini juga! :D I really appreciate it! Come again~

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  9. Hi Sarah, way to go girl! I have a daughter, a bit younger than you are, she is in her senior high (tuff years for a dad to keep his girl in right track, amid her social crowd of friends. I guess you probably got the idea). Your story and these photos touch my heart, it strengthens my faith, thankyou. I'm sorry for your loss, you must have been very close to your dad. Well, keep the spirit up, as your story and photos did for me. God bless you.

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    1. Hi! Hahahaha... I'm sure my mom and dad is glad they passed that phase of mine.

      I'm so glad to hear compliments like yours. Knowing I've touched and even strengthened your faith really means a lot. I was and I sure hope you and your daughter will grow closer to each other everyday.

      Take care. Sending prayers to you and our family. Stay healthy and joyful! God bless you.

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  10. sayang ayah kn? jagalah aurat.. takpe, slow2 :)

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    1. Yes I do love my father. And I am sure I've been taking care of myself very well until now, just as my parents raised me. Thank you for your concern, but I will decide how I will present myself according to my beliefs and idealism. Thank you :)

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    2. Dear Mirul,

      Sayang ayah kan? Gunakan gaji ayah yang dipake buat makan kamu untuk belajar, membuka pikiran, menjadi dewasa, mengenal apa itu arti perbedaan dan toleransi. Ayah kerja siang malem untuk ngasi makan dan bikin kenyang perut kamu bukan untuk menjudge orang dengan apa yang dia tulis. Ayah bakal bangga sama orang yang ngerti apa itu aurat buat diri sendiri dan buat orang lain. Ayah bakal sedih kalo gaji dia disia siakan (selama entah berapa tahun kamu sekolah dan berapa jam yang efektif dipake kamu untuk mendapatkan pelajaran) dengan tidak membaca apa itu hal sederhana mulai dari pengertian, sejarah dan penerapan aurat. Takpe. Selow2 :) jangan remehkan kemampuan manusia untuk belajar. Serendah apapun kemampuan dan penidikan kamu, sesempit apapun pikiran kamu, sedangkal apapun pengetahuan kamu, aku percaya sama kamu. Kamu pasti bisa kok. Semangat mirul! Kurang-kurangin gossip, cari perhatian di FB sama selfie2 ga jelas yah. Sayang ayah kn?

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  11. sayang ayah kn? jagalah aurat.. takpe, slow2 :)

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  12. 謝謝你与大夥分享那麼熟悉的身影!

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  13. 謝謝你与大夥分享那麼熟悉的身影!

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  14. Hi Chrisya,

    I was taking a break from a script I was writing when I came across your post. It is a beautiful (and cool) tribute to a Father. I lost my Dad in 1989 and I still miss him to this day. My biggest regret was that I never got to travel with him. I also have very few pictures of him left. I believe when moments pass and leave us forever, they become stories that we can always remember. Thank you for sharing your story and making me remember that though I didn't have a Dad who traveled the world, I had one who made me his. Enjoy life :)

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    1. Hi Marci,

      I'm so happy you get to come across my post and thank you for the compliment :) I'm more than glad to share my story to you and everyone else! I hope the memory of your dad stays in your heart & make new memories in life!

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  15. Cool! I wonder how many days were taken just to pinpoint the exact location of those shots, haha. God bless!

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    1. Hahaha~ I lived in Melbourne for 1,5 years and the city isn't that big. The places my dad took photos in were places I am familiar with and pass by almost every day. So it made it easy for me to do this project :D Thank you! God bless you too!

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    1. Thank you!
      Do come and visit my blog again for another story :)

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  17. Halo, Sarah. I just strolling around the internet and found this. Nice to meet you(r post). Saya baru saja kehilangan ayah saya 4 bulan lalu, dan sampai saat ini hidup saya rasanya jungkir balik. Hahaha. I feel you, Sarah. Glad to know you're finally get used to the pain of loss. you must be a big-hearted person. :')

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    1. Halo! Turut berduka cita untuk ayah kamu. I'm sure it's a totally different feeling, but I can relate to it in some ways. It's 3 years and it's still an on-going process for me. I hope this new journey of yours will be better for you! Sending you prayers of strength and joy to you and your family.

      E-mail me if you need to share. My mailbox is always open :)

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  18. Keren.. Setiap orang punya cara sendiri untuk mengenang orang yang paling disayangnya. Tetap menjadi yang terbaik untuk semua orang.

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  19. cool....!!! sangat menginspirasi :") God bless you, Sarah :)

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  20. then follow the instructions given above.

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